Seriously, You're Not Funny

Its a pet peeve of mine.
A serious one apparently because it aggravates me more every time I get one of these blokes. And its ALWAYS guys. Sorry fellas but apparently this is a male trait.  Either that or women are so lousy at doing this that I can't even tell when they are doing this...which really could be the case.
This is when someone RELENTLESSLY tries to crack wise  for no apparent reason. Now I don't mind a little smart ass remark every once in a while and I don't mind if it's truly a witty statement you make or you're actually CHARMING and can get away with that shit. A good sense of humor and a sharp wit is the key to my heart and possibly panties.
But the majority of the guys who DO this are:
1-NOT charming  
2-NOT funny 
and 
3-NOT witty at all. 

Which ends up with me constantly fake laughing at the same fucking horrid joke for 15 goddamned minutes while I am silently wishing you to die. I myself, lose a little bit of my fucking soul when you toss the same goddamn remark at me over and over. And this isn't just a one moment in time. Not just BAM bad joke and moving on. These people relentlessly say the same thing over and over AND FUCKING OVER AGAIN in an attempt to get a reaction/laugh. If I didn't fall over laughing the first time dude, its not going to change on the 5th try.

So just to clear up a few things:

• No...that statue is not titled "Goat with Pink". Yes, its a goat. Yes it has some pink on it. No, it is not called "Goat with Pink". I am so happy you think that the title "Goat with Pink" is the wittiest and funniest title you ever heard. I can tell by the way you donkey laugh after every time you say it at me. I'm sorry I don't share your enthusiasm with the title "Goat with Pink". Please stop coming to my desk and repeating this joke at me. My fake laugh is wearing VERY thin.
• Yes the ticket is good for seven days. Yes I do mean seven days in a row. No you can not pick which seven days even though you think its HILARIOUS that you could. So you wanting to come back on June the 21st 2035 is not a valid date. Oh and no we won't set up a cot in the back for you so you can spend your full seven days here. ...Move along sir.
• Oh? So you are a senior/student/under 20/military vet? Oh well good for you sir, I'm going to have to see all those IDs then. Oh I'm sorry your wallet was stolen. No, I can't take your word for it. Oh and no, those discounts don't cancel each other out and that means you get free admission. Oh yes, I NEVER heard that one before, you're so clever.
• Once again...the statue is NOT called "Goat with Pink"!
• Yes sir there is no photography...even though your Russian, yes. No photography. This is due to copyright issues. No, taking a photo of me in front of the piece isn't going to change this. Yes, thank you for calling me such a pretty girl but the answer is still no. Yes, even though you're Russian.
• Ah yes a $1,000,000,000 bill you just handed me with your face on it...ah yes...heh...thanks for the tip, dipshit.
• FUCK YOU! ITS NOT CALLED "GOAT WITH PINK!!!"
• Oh you parked in the staff lot because you ARE staff? May I see your badge? Oh its in your OTHER pants? Oh sir, your rapier wit cuts me in twain!
• Whats that? you're going to come, take photos, and then run out to see what I can do?...Oh yes sir...please try me.