I Am Disenchanted With Your Shenanigans.

Me: I'm sorry sir, you have to leave your backpack at the front desk.

Old Man: How do you expect me to take photos without my backpack?

Me: Oh, you can bring your camera-

Old Man: *Cackles* I'm just kidding with you! You thought I was serious!

**minutes later**

Old Man: How long have you been working here?

Me: Nine years.

Old Man: And in those nine years...have you ever wondered what wood your desk is made out of?

Me:...No.

Old Man: Well, its OAK! 

Me: *stares at him*

Old Man: Want to know how I know?

Me:...No.

**A few more minutes later**

Old Man: I want to make sure you're keeping an eye on my backpack.

Me: I will watch it for you, I promise.

Old Man: Good...because I have TWO GUNS inside it! Because I'M from TEXAS you know! Because Texans do that and you people don't! 

Me: ....*looks at him flatly*

Old Man: *waiting for a shocked response*

Me: ...and?

Old Man: ...Uh...well-

Me: I don't find that shocking.

Old Man: Well-

Me: My husband owns a gun. 

Old Man: Oh I-

Me: Do you need anything else or should I call security on your two guns?

Old Man: *Frowns* No, I don't have two guns.

Me: Have a nice day.