Bitchy Film People

So we have an auditorium and we use it for various things.  We tend to use it for our own events but to make some money we also rent it out to outside venues as well (dance companies, other film companies, concerts, etc.) Sometimes it leads to confusion on where people can buy tickets, which is understandable.  So I get a lot of calls when we have outside events asking to buy tickets. No problem, though. I always have the ticket information available  like a phone number, website, or a location. For the most part, people are always thankful and nice and respond with a "Thanks!". 
But apparently one film had an audience made up of nothing but raging douche canoes. 
It was an RSVP only event and they were full. Do not pass go. Do not collect $200. Yet we had people calling every 10 minutes asking me for tickets. The conversations usually went like this: 

Me: Place of business, this is Me. 

Them: Yeah, there's this film showing? Its tonight? I wanna reserve tickets! 

Me: Oh I'm sorry, since that's an outside event, we doesn't handle tickets to it. I heard that it is sold out but I have a number here you can call to confirm that. Maybe you'll luck out! 

Them: Oh I ALREADY called that number! They said they were sold out! 

Me:...Ah. 

Them: So I want YOU to get me some tickets! 

me: I'm sorry, I cannot get you any tickets to that event. We don't handle the tickets for it. 

Them: But you're right THERE! Get me a ticket! 

me: It is PHYSICALLY IMPOSSIBLE for me to get you tickets to this event. 

Them: Then I'm coming down in person to get them! *click* 

me: *Headdesk* 

Lather, Rinse, Repeat, now in person.  You can also add the following phrases of  "You REALLY should put this movie on your website or I'd never know where to get tickets!" and "I'm an upstanding member of the community so you should do me this favor and get me a ticket" somewhere in the above scripted form. 

This exchange was my favorite though. 

Her: Hi, I got tickets to this film tonight and now I can't make it, I would like a refund. 

Me: I'm sorry Ma'am but we don't handle any of the ticket sales for that event since it is an outside event. But I have the reservation phone line here you can call. 

Her: Can't YOU just give me the refund? 

Me: No Ma'am, I cannot. You will have to call the following number, XXX-YYYY. 

Her: But I called here  and you should cancel my tickets for me. 

Me: Ma'am, I have no control over the ticket reservations whatsoever. So you are going to have to call the reservation line .

Her: I have a LOT of things to do today and I can't waste my time talking on the phone and making phone calls. Can't you just call them for me? 

Me: Ma'am, it is not legal for me to perform your refund over the phone to another party. So if you do want your money back you are going to have to call the reservation line. 

Her: FINE! *click* 

I didn't get a chance to explain to her that the event was free. So I have NO idea where her credit card came into play. 
Ooooh people are amusing.