Wat r Wurds?

Lady on the Phone who apparently has her mouth smooshed against the mouth piece: Hello, do you have a concert on Friday called *Unintelligible*

Me: I'm sorry, I didn't quite hear you.

Lady: SMMemkvfgiuehk.

Me:...Oh..well...we do have a concert event happening tomorrow *catches my mistake* Woops! I mean Friday. Its on Friday.

Lady: TOMORROW?! It should be Friday!!

Me: It is. I'm sorry. That was my mistake. It is on Friday.

Lady: You just said tomorrow!!!

Me: That was my mistake. It was not tomorrow. It is Friday like you said.

Lady: SO is it tomorrow or Friday!?! Why are you so confusing?!

Me: .... I'm going to transfer you over to events.

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Woman at my desk: There's a film being shown on Saturday. Can I get tickets here?

Me: I'm sorry, we don't handle the ticket sales for that film. You can buy them at the door the day of though.

Woman: Can I buy them in advanced somewhere else?

Me: I'm sure you can. Let me call someone to get you ticket information. *calls events. They have to find the information since our main events guy is out on vacation so I'm on hold* This will just be a moment. Thank you for being so patient.

Woman: So I can't buy tickets here?

Me: No. I'm sorry.

Woman: Oh. I already know where to get tickets online. Just seeing if you knew too. 

Me: *blinks*

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Man: Is your shop closed?

Me: Yes it is. They are doing physical inventory and will be closed for the next two days.

Man:.... But I'm here now.

Me: I'm sorry for the inconvenience.

Man: I want to buy something in there NOW. Can't you just open up the shop for five minutes?

Me: Sir, they are on merchandise lock down for two days. They cannot make any sales. But they have an online store you can use during this time.

Man: I want to buy something NOW. Please open the shop.

Me: Sorry Sir. I cannot do that.

Man: I want to talk to the store manager.

*So I call up the manager and watch a 10 minute conversation of her telling this guy that there are no sales allowed during inventory. His argument was just "But I'm here NOW and I want to buy something NOW so you should let me in NOW". That was it. Nothing more than that. The manager gave up and goes back to inventory, leaving the door open a crack. As I'm working, I see him out of the corner of my eye sneaking towards the door.*

Man: *whispering to his wife* I'm just going to look at that T-shirt and leave the money for it on the counter while they're not looking. They won't mind the sale. I'm helping them out.

Me: Sir, don't make me call security.

*and they leave quickly*

Old Man Invasion

Old Man - May I ask you a question?

Me - Of course!

OM - Why do you use the world N--ger in here?

Me- ...I'm sorry, what?

OM - Why do you use that?

Me- Are you meaning me personally? Because I don't believe I have said that word once.

OM - No, in the art. The cups guy.

Me - *stares at him simply because we have no "cups guy" art* Ummm...Well if its in the art, I would have to say its the artist's choice.

OM - Its offensive and I should walk you back to show you. Please remove it now.

Me - I can't do that sir. Would you like to fill out a comment card?

I finally convince him to fill out a comment card when his wife comes up and looks at what he's writing. She blinks then says.  "That's not what it said! It said Ninjas!" And dragged him out.

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Old Man #2 - I'd like to tell you something.

Me - Of course.

OM2 - I would have enjoyed the tour if your guards didn't talk.

Me - Oh I'm sorry.

OM2 -There should never be talking in here.

Me- Here's a comment card, sir.


---------------------------------------------

Old Man #3 - Excuse me. Can I ask you something?

 Me -  *getting wary now of saying it*... Of course.

OM3 - What is wrong with the palm trees outside?  Everything is so brown!

Me - Well, we're in a severe drought right now. The state has ordered water rations. Unfortunately that makes our palm trees suffer since we can't use our sprinklers as freely as before.

OM3- So what can we do about it? You really should water it more often.

Me - Well unfortunately we can't until the water rations are off.

OM3- So what can we DO about it? Can I water it for you?

Me- ...Unfortunately you can't . The state is in water rations now. Watering it won't help the state out with the drought.

OM3- That one tree is really brown.

Me- I understand that. Its a shame.

OM3 - So what can we DO ABOUT IT.

Me -... Know any rain dances?